Over the last year, I have been so hurt by so many different things, but this week I hit the last of what I could take.
I applied and interviewed with what I thought would be a great fit for a summer internship. However, I was told they decided to go a different route. That different route was my best friend.
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I sat there trying not to be upset because I was happy for her but the devil went to work. He took the opportunity to take hit after hit like he has for the past year and I could not take it anymore.
I felt so defeated. I thought I was doing what I was suppose to be doing, but it still seemed like nothing was working out for me.
“I was angry and upset that I had prayed so hard for something and yet again, God had not answered my prayer.I felt like God had just turned his back on me. I felt like he threw me in the Devil’s fire and said I’ll be over here when you get out.”
After feeling defeated for many days, I just felt like I just needed to call Kendall and get prepared for what was going on this week with Unapologetic.
Kendall told me how she felt like God was telling her to speak on being obedient in the small things like reading your Bible, praying and things like that. I told her that was something I really wanted to work on within myself and explained what was going on right now in my life.
Kendall encouraged me to go listen to this sermon about obedience, to pray boldly, and praise God for what He was already doing. She encouraged me that God would work immediately, even if I couldn't see it yet, so start praising Him now.
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So I got to my apartment and I started to listen to the sermon. I could just feel God speaking to me with every word that the pastor spoke. I even copied the link and sent it to my boyfriend told him he had to listen to it because it was so good.
As I was listening one of the main versus he used was:
““Just as Jesus was coming up out of the water, he saw heaven being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove” ”
Which was just such a God thing because it is one of the versus I had just learned while being a candidate for Sigma Alpha Omega, and it really stuck out to me while I was memorizing it a couple weeks ago.
The pastor went on to explain this verses as when Jesus was Baptized He did not feel the Holy spirit on Him before or during but AFTER.
I felt in that moment God spoke to me and said.. even though I have been walking through the valley and did not feel God during, I would feel Him after.
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So I finished listening to this sermon and took time to journal about what I had learned. I was amazed at just how much I got out of this time.
I then decided to get up and fix lunch and when I came back in I had a missed call. I called the number back and the lady said “Hey Caroline I would like to set up an interview with you at our wedding venue for an internship.”
I was in SHOCK. I had sent an email to this company back in September, but I had never heard anything back from them so I had just written it off as something that was not going to happen.
I immediately said “Yes ma’am and what time?” I knew this was a God thing.
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I don’t know if this is my “After,” but I do know that being obedient and listening and journaling along with that sermon, I saw God move.
If you are in the valley today be obedient to God in the small things, so that your after is greater than what you can imagine.
“ I never thought that I would hear back from that company, nor did I think that I would find an internship as good as the one I did not get, but God made a way.”
I encourage you to continue being obedient, even if it feels like the world is against you and God has forgotten about you. Pray BOLDLY and Praise Him for the little things he is already working out in your FAVOR.
I believe you will see God move too!