To the Girl who is "Too Much"

I have always been that girl.

The girl who is too talkative.

The girl who is too dramatic.

The girl who is too bossy.

The girl who is TOO much.

It use to bother me every time someone would point out my “too muchness.” Sometimes, I think they were trying to call me out, other times making a joke, Either way, it would sting a bit and I would question whether or not something was wrong with me for being this way.

I’ve spent hours questioning if I need to train myself to be less dramatic, hold back  to ensure I don't look bossy, and certainly questioning whether to talk or not.

It’s a tough place to be. Somewhere between yourself and the butt of someones joke. I always envied the quiet and mysterious girls. The ones who waited to be spoken to and refrained from barging into rooms, but I always knew that wasn’t me.

…

As I’ve gotten older I have clung to verses about being “Fearfully and wonderfully made,” and “made in God’s image.”

“ I’ve learned to stop envying those who talk less, and that I am simply not for everyone.”

God has made it abundantly clear that I was built the way I am for a reason.

He has shown me that my words carry weight, and that I can be a voice to the voiceless. That being passionate is never over rated but often under estimated.

…

While soaking in some quiet time this week God came through in the form of new affirmations I am going to start speaking over myself this year. To remind myself that I was, in fact, made THIS way for a reason, and that being TOO much isn’t a burden.

Here are my affirmations, if you need a little pep talk, you are welcome to borrow mine:

“My talents are needed.
My voice is wanted.
My love is expected.
My joy is experienced.
My heart is seen.
I need not worry.”

I know what it’s like to feel like you are TOO much, and like everyone simply tolerates you. I know what it’s like to feel patronized and not seen, but you don’t have to feel that way forever.

I hope you surround yourself with those who affirm you, and love you for YOU.
I hope you stand up for yourself, and don't feel like you have to justify your worth to anyone.
I hope you understand that the things the devil tries to convince you are burdens, are the same things God will use to bless you.
I hope you take time to truly love yourself.  The way God made you.

You’re never too much. You're more than enough.

oxox,

Kendall Mariah