She Can Handle It : Trusting Your Inner Strength
Yesterday morning, I awoke from a dream that felt a little too real. For a split second, I had forgotten that my Papa's new residence was in heaven, and that his appearance in my dream was just a fleeting moment. My heart sank, and the tears started to flow.
I would typically role over and put my head on my husbands chest, and wait for the moment of grief to pass. However, he is a month into a long-term business trip, and it was just me. I pulled the covers up, and turned on a playlist that offers me encouragement and a "safe-place" for times like this.
Thinking about how much I miss Papa, I prayed for peace and comfort, while hearing the ding from text messages reminding me of the days responsibilities. But, I just couldn't find the strength to put my feet on the floor.
Growing up, there were many times while talking to my grandparents about my latest ventures and busy schedule, Mama Dorothy would say, "Now, don't take on too much. You don't want to get burned out or make yourself sick." I would look over to Papa and without fail he would say, "Don't worry, she can handle it. She is a strong girl. " I would smile and wink at Papa and he would go back to eating his peanuts and watching the game on mute with a smirk on his face.
“Don’t worry, she can handle it. She is a strong girl. ”
In the last few months I had with Papa he often reminded me of my strength. Whether it was being able to pick him up and help him to bed, when he would FaceTime me while Justin was gone and tell me how proud he was of me for being able to "keep going," or when talking politics he would say, "Nobody can mess you, can they?"
Papa helped instill in me a kind of confidence and strength I wish I could bottle up and give to many of my friends.
So if you are going through a tough season because of losing a loved one, missing someone because they are far away, or because life just isn't going the way you planned; please remember, the strength that has gotten you to where you are today, will bring you out of this season of pain, too.
I can "handle it." But sister, let me tell you, YOU can too. Go ahead and dig a little deeper, pull up your big girl panties, and keep pushing forward. You can "handle it" just as you have handled everything life has thrown at you so far. I know its tough, but so are you.
oxox,
Kendall Mariah